osgod's Journal

11:31AM

And I find that in knowing, I truly know nothing. Splayed open for everyone to see. Displayed so that you can reach in and rip out every last piece of me. I sat on that porch for as long as I can recall and then an eternity.

I Am A Failure.

I don't succeed because I'm afraid of trying.
I don't try because I'm afraid of failing.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME

Tell me you feel it too. I want to hear you say it drags you down and fucks with you. Tell me so I can stop telling myself. Again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. I write the same page. I read the same words. Everyone's the same. These relationships are all formuliac. He will do that, she will do this. He'll probably be mad, she'll never forgive him for this.

It's a wonderful world. We've evolved into jealous, angry, hate-filled beings. We're so consumed with emotions that we forget why we feel them. I am numb. Pinch me until I bleed because I'm not waking up from this.

The sun will rise on pristine skies. Streaks of grey fading to day and we're just one rotation away from another sunrise. Two, twelve, seventy eight. Can I find a reason to anything? I'm cutting down forests so I can see through the trees. I'm beleaguered by my mind, this translucent brain disease.

Pop a pill, forget your worries. Feel shallow as the pool you throw change in. Make a wish for better days.

I can't remember things but I used to be happy and sometimes I still am. It's just that I won't let myself be happy. I will take everything for granted and put it all the wrong way.

Can I have one year? Just one year to hold on to. I want every street light glowing off fresh snow. I need sun showers. So why am I here, lost, empty, but never alone.

Is anything ever right. Tell me a story.

Current mood: drained

Current music: Pink Floyd- Learning to Fly

1:32AM - Because I Can

Woke up at two today. Had some frustration with the financial aid office yesterday and my dad had to drive an hour and a half out here to straighten it out. I feel bad I didn't even get to see him when he was out here.

Had a shot of Irish whiskey and a Killian's last night for St. Patrick's before headin down to the house. Graz organized a flaming shot called the Devil's Taint (3 parts everclear, 1 part Tabasco, light on fire). Chris tried moving the shotglass when it was on fire and it spilt on the counter and lit the counter on fire. Once that got put out and the blew out the shots the glasses were too hot to hold cause they let them burn so long. Amusing reactions from that shot so of course I had to try it later. Not as bad as I thought it would be, but hey, I like hot sauce.

Somewhere between getting there and taking those shots and about one AM, Graz got blitzed off his ass and I stopped drinking to make sure he was all right. Forced him to drink water for about an hour before I came back and went to bed.

Woke up today with about 3 missed calls from my psych who I was supposed to call last night. Gave him a call and I guess I'm goin to be goin back on the zac cause of my recent failure at class.

Disappointingly enough, I never called back Jackie cause I thought it would be weird to call someone that I haven't seen in about a week and half (that I have only met once). It's too bad, she was pretty cute.

I'm goin to be busy as hell this term. Four classes, the fraternity, 104 hours of work, and my beloved spring baseball.

Realized today that I don't associate Rockland with "home" anymore. I should be back for the summer but I'll probably spend more time visiting out here than I will in Rockland. There isn't much left for me there anymore.

Clark doesn't visit much these days which sucks. It'd be good to see him and Rory come by sometime soon. Maybe their pissed at me about the whole Alison thing, I don't know though. I called him last night and he said he'd probably be out to visit next weekend. Hopefully Graham, Garofalo, and Amy will be stopping by sometime too. I have a lot of fun here and I don't want to completely lose touch with everyone from home so it would be cool if they could be incorporated into my new group here.

Anyways, gettin back to where I was. Woke up at two today wrote up some essays and watch Almost Famous. Went and had a dinner that I wasn't really that hungry for. Chilled at 49 for a little then dropped by Gagnon's before headin to showcase north to see V for Vendetta. I didn't think it was that great but then I have high expectations for movies that I actually pay for, as opposed to rippin them off the net. On our way out we could have caught Final Destination 3 for free but Dave didn't want to see it and see'n as he drove us down there we had to miss that one. Now it's time for a movie before bed then gettin to wake up bright and early for work party.

Lata.

5:47AM - A Terrible Idea

Haven't done anything in here in awhile when a lot has happened. Because I hate writing shit in here and then having people say "I know" when I go to tell them something, I will instead just write down a list of basic shit and if it interests you I'll tell you all about it.

~The Girl who wants to "PAHTEY" on Monday night.
~The kid in the wheelchair.
~Trip to Hooters.
~Boston Comic and the severe shortage of girls at WPI.
~Why I sometimes refer to Graz as Elvis (if you don't already know this one I might not tell you cause until Evan has some shit story to get back at me for tellin this one, I'm probably going to stop sayin it.)
~My run in with a bench.
~One of the best drinking games ever, which we will not be calling spiderweb (sorry Graz).
~The WPI basketball team (not really a funny story).
~Breaking and entering right next to that bitch's apartment who always threatens to call the cops on us.
~How to beat almost any girl in the "Never Have I Ever" part of Kings.
~Why Friday @ WPI and Saturday @ Assumption kicked ass.
~Why Allison should never mix you a drink.
~And finally, Beer Pong is much better than Beruit (no they are not the same thing).

That's all I can really think of right now.

Current mood: Serene

Current music: Lostprophets- Shinobi vs. Dragon Ninja (acoustic)

2:10AM

Writing some stuff down cause I said I would on Friday. Honestly, where to begin, I do not know.

I think I am a somewhat different person at college though I try not to be.

It's good to see everyone here at college again, some people have drifted further away and some people have stayed close. I spend most of my time at F9 or Dan & Daves. I had intended on meeting a bunch of freshmen, but I was surprised to see that 90% of them appear to be about the age of 12, was I like that last year?

Friday night was one of the more fun nights here. Visited here and there, not too much drinking for most of us. Ran into Figs, Boston Mike and a bunch of kids from his hometown. Headed to TKE after that, felt bad for them seein the corner of their main house all charred from the fire. I guess they're still having rush though. I'm strongly considering joining there, as is Graz I think. I gotta see how things work out for free time though before I make any decisions on that.

As for free time, does anyone else out there have any? I only have 13 hours of classes a week, which is only two full highschool days worth of school. How I'm filling up every hour of the week I do not know. If I get a job down at the Sole, I'll have even less time, but more money.

As far as money goes, I was planning on getting a car, but I think what really is going to end up happening is that I will be living in Worcester this summer and not need one because hopefully I will be close enough to walk. I am sad that I did not get out to Worcester this summer to visit people and I don't think I can take another summer in Rockland. I'll appreciate going to Rockland a lot more if I'm almost never there.

I've got to get up in six hours to go to the gym with Guddy, Graz, and Shane. Then homework till classes at 2, out @ 5, Dinner, and whatever I have enough energy left for. Most likely something that doesn't involve thinking.

Current mood: blank

Current music: SR-71: Alive

5:09AM - The half-way point

Being home is good, I drink less at home than at college I think. I've been busy so far this week, waking up late and staying up late. I've been coming home somewhere around 4AM which is cool cause I can see the moon right above the trees on my way down my street. Yesterday I woke up in a late manner and went over to Damien's with Clark and Dan. Then I went to Tom's game where I was met with annoying drama courtesy of Christine Soucy. She was mad about an away message pertaining to her sister. I should have said more than I did because self-ritious hypocritical bitches piss me off. But I'm fairly certain she'll get screwed over in the next few years due to the way she is. FInished off the day getting the shit rivered out of me in poker. Blah, I only lost 8 though. Went to Clark's and watched the Mayweather and whatever the hell the other guys name is fights.

Up at around 2:45 today, picked up my pay at work. Headed over to Damien's again today w/ Clark, Dan, and Graz, then headed over to the tennis courts and played tennis for awhile. Came home for a bit, then went swimming and played poker at Lamborghini's house. I ended up 18 which was nice considering last night.

Sadly, gone are the days of going to Bickford's at 4 in the morning. They now close at 3 on Fridays and Saturdays, and even earlier on weekedays and Sundays. Too bad because the people that come into Bickford's at that time in the morning provide good entertainment when you're eating your "I don't want to go home yet" food with your friends.

The weather is all fucked up. This past monday it was 95 degrees out and two days later the temperature had dropped to 51 degrees. It goes from muddy to dry reguardless of rain for some reason. Overall though the weather has been tolerable. I miss WPI baseball, but I've been going to a lot of the Legion games because I love baseball even if I suck at it. The only criticism I have about it is that the team sucks for pitching and they never unlock the bathrooms so I have to piss on the trees behind the stadium. However, it is fun heckling the other team, which is something I don't do at WPI.

I'm looking forward to next school year to see all the WPI people again and just for the freedom of being at college. I like the community that is college life. I've got to get up to UNH more next year to visit Graham (Niggers for life) and Garofalo (Voted most friendly).

Only about seven or eight weeks of summer left but I got lots to do. Camping w/ the Morgan 3 people, fishing w/ Devereaux and Graham, family camping maybe, Fourth of July, my mom's august cookout, Swiss Party, a lot more swimming, softball, tennis, wiffleball, badminton, and poker. Stuff of that nature I guess. I have nothing else to say right now, but because none of you know what Swiss Party is I'll just say so that I can keep typing shit out at 5:38 in the morning. Every year in early August, my uncle has a cookout because it's some Swiss day and my uncle is Swiss. So they have lots of food and he family is all there, a lot like fourth of july. Now you know.

Current mood: tired

Current music: Bad Company- Bad Company

10:32AM - Rockland Friday

Woke up late yesterday and made some soup for lunch. Took a shower then headed over to Hanover. I went to the Salvation Army, who is hiring, and got a shirt. Then applied to a couple other places in Hanover. I might be getting a job through Aaron though.

Anyways, got back to Rockland and watched the tennis team play against Pembroke when none other than Chris Dutra shows up. Went over his house after the game for his brother's birthday. After that played poker at Pinske's and then played ultimate frisbee in the high school parking lot. After all that we went to Wendy's and Graz scared the crap out of Lindsay (damn, most girls think Antonio Banderes is hot).

There's so much shit I want to do this summer. I got to play tennis for a little bit yesterday and some wiffleball on Thursday and I'll be able to do that stuff all summer. Enjoyable. The weather sucks right now, all cold and rainy. I'll be getting some food soon then taking a shower and heading over to the mall with the whop to pick up a present for my mom for mothers day.

Hasta luego.

Current mood: groggy

Current music: Stevie Ray Vaughan- The Things That I Used to Do

6:03AM - And I still hope that you will miss me when I'm gone

In twelve hours I'll be leaving this place where I did so much growing up in one year. I remember drinking to making it through the first week of classes, midnight trips to price chopper, telling myself I'd go to bed early and not making it there till 4AM, the baseball games, "working" gym security, badminton after the gym closed, ripping off the smoothie place, the daka disease, the four hour debate in the lounge, my first run in w/ the police, pledging a frat for three days, the twenty mile run to dave's house, and I think there were some classes in there somewhere.

Of all that I will miss from this past year, it saddens me most to have to leave behind Morgan 3, the best floor of all of WPI. So here's to you guys:

Martin: You are a sex machine and everyone down this end of the hall knows it.
Spock: His real name is John, am I the only one who didn't know that until D-term?
Mikey R: Boston Mike, probably the nicest kid I've ever known, he spent most of his time at the library but still found time for us. Don't leave every weekend next year!
Shane: Remember that time I tried to tackle you and you flipped me over? I'll smoke you in basketball next year. See ya this summer kid. "Hey Shane, is she black?"
Figgy: The first kid I ever played beruit with. I think we dominated but I can't remember, and that means we must have. I still don't understand how you're going to get to San Diego by going through Canada, but I'm sure with a few beers you'll figure it out, just like you figured out, "Price Chopper doesn't lie!"
Izzy: You came from some far away state in the midwest and lightened up the hall atmosphere. I missed all your races, but they'll probably end up being on page 3115 of the memoirs you've been typing up.
Ryan: I remember one of the first hall meetings, tofer asked if anyone was 21 and he said he was. Tofer said, "I don't want to see anyone else with alcohol". I really thought you were 21 then to.
Tofer: We had our disagreements but I don't think I could have asked for a better RA. You did your best to make everyone happy and make it a good year for everyone and I'd say you succeeded.
Dan: 360! Your roommate moved out and your room became the lounge. You moved out of the dorms and a half mile away and your apartment is still the place to hang out at. I'm glad you pretty much didn't have classes so that you could make time to chill w/ all of us. It was the weirdest thing to see your door closed when you moved out. I'll be out to visit this summer so get some time off of work.
Bebel: Kudos for being the only person on the hall who was awake more than I was. Good luck with that fucked up road trip you and figs are planning and bring back some stories for next year. "Aaron tongues the grundle"
The Two Jews: What are you jew'ing? Barry, you're one cool motherfucker. I still remember the anti-semetic fence. When everyone else was busy, you always found the time to change everyone's desktops to some lewd picture causing most people on the hall to password protect their computers. Sorry you had to room with Russ all year, he was quite bitchy at times. "Quit narkin' on my stash maaaaaan!"
Aaron, Duckie, & Patrick: The wandering trio. Aaron, you discovered Founder's, and I discovered that it sucked (even if you refuse to agree with me just like our political views). You are probably one of the most cultured kids I know and usually found the time to go anywhere in Worcester. You're a good kid even if the woman (not the hot one) at the library said you are violent. "C'mon man. For real? He's just joking."
Duckie you have ADD. I had fun with the hall fights, and attempting to trick you into drinking something that had alcohol in it. Though I failed this year, there is always next year. Thanks for teaching me every math related subject the night before the tests even if I couldn't always understand what you were talking about. See you and Aaron this summer. "I do what I want!"
Patrick, you listen to the weirdest music ever and I forgot to steal your freedom chiropractic shirt. Thanks for the goodwill advice and cargos are here to stay. And for the last time, yes I do like Arrested Development so get the second season god damn it.
Mike Ball: Hopefully they'll be starting you next year and there'll be defense to back you up. Good job this year.

Alright I've been writing stuff for an hour now so I'm going to take a break. Everyone else, don't think I forgot you! I'll update in the next couple days w/ the double duece, the kid who took a duece on his floor, the one who does the hurdle (singular), the drunk duo, the lightweight & the asian, the el salvadorian, and the kid who is allergic to everything.

Current mood: nostalgic

Current music: All American Rejects- The Last Song

10:25AM - Fer yer mutha fuckin entatainment

1) Vin Diesel once stared so hard at an orphan, the child melted into a puddle of marmalade.
2) Merely by flexing his left arm, Vin Diesel once caused an entire busload of nuns to spontaneously combust.
3) In 1996 Vin Diesel won a hotdog eating contest in Decatur, Georgia despite actually being on a fishing boat off Nova Scotia.
4) Vin Diesel once broke the sound barrier while flipping an omelets.
5) Vin Diesel invented Napster after overdosing on cheetos and motor oil.
6) Vin Diesel once slapped Kareem Abdul Jabar in the face. They both cried afterwards.
7) If you haven't seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don't bother, Vin Diesel wins.
8) Vin Diesel holds the world's record for being a hovercraft.
9) Vin Diesel once ate half a dozen apples and then shit a fruit salad.
10)Vin Diesel invented the "Vin Diesel Burn-Them-Motherfuckers Grill". It barely sold anything and was quickly taken off of the market. Three weeks later George Foreman copied the same design and made millions off of it.
11)"Tom" on MySpace is actually Vin Diesel's fake account. MySpace was created by Vin Diesel as a science experiment.
12)Vin Diesel is 72% badass and 28% cornbread.
13)Vin Diesel once killed a bear using only his teeth and a pitching wedge.
14)When dating girls of Chinese origin, he serenades them by parking his 83 Toyota Tracel under their window and turning his tricked out system as loud as it will go to the song "I'm in love wit chu" by Da Brat...ironically all his Chinese girls have had the last name Chu.
15)Vin Diesel has breasts that do indeed lactate.
16)Vin Diesel downs each meal with a cupful of Tide detergent. It comes out clean and he never has to wipe because of it.
17)Vin Diesel once sprayed Axe Deodorant Body Spray in his eye to save money on car insurance.
18)Vin Diesel once cooked 400 tons of chicken noodle soup for the needy but then drank all but one in a bet with Samuel L. Jackson.
19)Vin Diesel will die if he ever comes into contact with cheese.
20)Vin Diesel once tried to assassinate Frank Gehry by propelling a box of crayons at him. In spite of his marvelous throw, Gehry survived.
21)Vin Diesel will grant you three wishes if you can guess Yoda's last name.
22)Vin Diesel once said Beetlejuice three times, ever since Michael Keaton has had no career.
23)Vin Diesel got so mad after September 11th that he wrote Pink Floyd's "The Wall."
24)Vin once aided twelve adult grizzly females in labor. Three of the cubs were breach births, and four were caesarian sections.
25)Vin Diesel can play all the instruments of a 100-piece orchestra all at the same time.
26)Vin created belt buckles to prevent his waist from shooting lasers.
27)Vin Diesel stole Stella's Groove. He gave it back for the good of mankind.
28)Vin Diesel did not use a microphone to record his work on The Iron Giant, he simply shouted his lines at the film reel and it got with the program.
29)Vin Diesel framed OJ and Roger Rabbit.
30)Vin Diesel predicted the holocaust but did absolutely nothing about it.
31)"Dimebag" Darrell Abbott actually killed himself because he heard Vin Diesel was planning to come on stage and show him up with a 36-hour guitar solo.
32)Reading about Vin Diesel is more addictive than heroine-filled cigarettes.
33)When golfing, if you accidentally miss the fairway, yelling 'Vin Diesel' will make the ball automatically appear on the green. Just try not to use it too often.
34)Vin Diesel still uses the Pony Express.
35)Vin Diesel kicked the original Gerber baby in the face because he gave him "a look."
36)Vin Diesel created time, then subsequently traveled back in time using a modified Delorian with a flux capacitor. Vin Diesel then punched Michael J Fox so hard that he ceased to exist.
37)Approximately 25,000 workers died during the building of the Panama Canal. This was all because someone coughed near Vin Diesel.
38)I saw Vin Diesel buying a hip flask once, and was unable to move any muscle in my body for 37 hours. I was lucky - people have died just from being in his presence.
38)Vin Diesel once beat his mother cross-eyed because she refused to share her recipe for peach cobbler with him.
39)Vin Diesel enjoys kicking pigeons in the park. When questioned, he replies that he "just does it for shits and giggles."
40)One of his feet is size 12, the other size 3.
41)Vin Diesel once gave a woman an orgasm so intense she invented three new branches of mathemetics, discovered the first half of the true name of god and now only needs two and half hours of sleep a week. She can also now cook a damn good English Breakfast, and never breaks an eggs yolk.
42)Vin Diesel once drove a golf ball over 9 miles, and was there to catch it before it hit the ground.

Current mood: grateful

Current music: Mase- Looking At Me

3:10PM - Bouncin

Got today off and only two weeks till summer time. Spent most of today running around trying to get my scholarship stuff figured out for next year. I'm feeling really good about this year. I've got the summer coming up with so much stuff to do. Working, sleeping, chilling with the few, tennis, badminton, midnight barbeque, new hampshire, visitin the college kids, and so much more shit to do.

After the summer is over I'll actually be looking forward to college again. Though I'm not living in an apartment like I'd planned it might end up bein better living in Riley. I'll be roomin with Nate. We've already got the room set up down and it's going to be pretty sweet. On top of that just about everyone else from my floor that I hang with got apartments so I can go visit there. Plus, because I'm living in a dorm I won't be estranged from the freshman class. I have to say, I'm definately looking forward to rushing next year as well.

I've been feeling sort of nostalgic lately. Remembering all sorts of shit like the pancakes after tennis watchin army of darkness, Good Friday where somehow nothing to do turned into one of the most fun days of the year.

(Gone for a couple hours)

I just got back from tennis. It's been so nice out lately.

Current mood: hungry

Current music: Ja Rule (ft. Ashanti)- Mesmerize

12:06PM - Baseball, ya know?

So I started going to baseball games last thursday and I got burned to hell on one side of my face and neck at the double header against wheaton on saturday. That's what I get for sitting in the stands though. Went to another game this past friday which was lots of fun cause dan printed out a roster so we actually knew who was who and we could yell for them. Yesterday's double header was sad, seeing us lose to MIT two in a row, but they finally put Ball in to pitch and he did really well. Plus, I know almost all the names of the people on the team now.

In other sports news, I've started playing tennis again though I had to break for a bit due to the sunburn of the century. Amazingly after three years of being unable to do a two handed backhand, I finally got an understanding of it from a person I was teaching that had never played tennis before (thanks dave). On sunday Isiah came down and played tennis w/ me and dave for a little bit then he headed out. We played for another hour and a half or so after he left which was good to bring up my opinion of my tennis skill. It seems people here just come down to the courts to slap a ball around for about 15 minutes then leave. Some guy was trying to teach his girlfriend how to do a backhand and he flipped out on her after she couldn't do it in the next five minutes. Kinda pathetic.

Academics aren't that bad. Spanish is at the passing level as is Calc IV and Dif Eqs makes a hell of a lot more sense thanks to Guddy who can relate it in a manner I can understand. I'd have had duckie help me too but he tries to teach me ways to solve things that make no sense and no one has learned yet.

I'm getting about a hundred a week since I got promoted to security supervisor, which is pretty sweet. I was planning to go into boston next weekend but I will be working the Reel Big Fish show here for quadfest instead. I guess I'll be going into boston on my last weekend here. Also, I have the problem of having a fair amount of alcohol to get rid of with only two weeks left to go.

Anyways, I have to go grab some lunch before daka closes then I'm playin guddy in tennis at three. Hopefully he's really good cause i'd rather play against someone who will kick my ass so my skill will improve. And speaking of improving skill, I've vowed to practice shooting hoop this summer seeing as I have a court in my back yard and that way I can play more next year.

-Josh

Current mood: content

Current music: Nullset- Smokewood

11:08PM - A New Mission

I'm useful as long as I have something to be pissed off about. Today I decided to fix the problem of the extremely unsanitary bathrooms. While it appears my RA, tofer, has been helpful in the situation I have not seen much effort on the part of my RD. Though he claims otherwise the unchanged situation more than annoys me. So I'll find a way to get around all the red tape so that my friends and I don't have to deal with shitty facilities. Goin one step at a time though instead of shooting to the top. Suposedly I am to start with the resident director who has been made aware previously and numerous times. Either he is inept or incapable of changing the situation, so now I'm at residential and plant services stage. After that is the president I suppose. And no this is not wasted time because the year is almost over. I'll be back next year.

Not much else to say but ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT is a funny show. You gotta start with the first episode though and watch them sequentially so you get all the jokes. I got random stuff to write I guess but I'm either too tired, too lazy, or a combination of both.

Later

Current mood: annoyed

Current music: Shinedown- Fly From the Inside

3:56PM - Wife and kids, household pet

Haven't updated in awhile. Most of the people that read this shit already know what I'm talking about anyways. So at the risk of repeating old news:

Was going to go to that's entertainment on thursday before work but I gouged a nice size piece of skin & flesh out of my little finger when the lock mechanism on my switchblade fucked up. Went down to health services and they didn't tell me anything useful. Got paid for "working" 10 hours on Thursday. That with my other hours puts me up $220 next thursday.

Friday night was almost uneventful for me. Almost. Despite being tired I popped two nodoz and was on my way. Watched arrested development in the Morgan Room of the campus center with dan and patrick and a few other people to kill time till the toga social. Finally got rid of the natty ice that has been taking up fridge space for a month and a half. And I made sure I didn't get that shit back either. Anyways had fun there met a bunch of people. Popped over to AXP for awhile but they took my nalgene so I didn't stay long. Headed back to TKE again for a bit longer. Came back to the dorm around 2ish I think and slept right through till about 11:30 on saturday.

Saturday was shitty rainy. Where on thursday and friday I was tossing around a baseball, Saturday saw a lot of just sitting around and doing nothing. Ate brunch at founders because there were a bunch of little shits wandering around courtesy of that Destination Imagination whatever it is thing. Watched strangers with candy down the hall last night till about 2 this morning then went to bed and slept late woke up and realized i'd lost another hour because of daylight savings.

Weather is still shit. Another fairly dull day today. Red sox game in 40 min so nothin else to write.

Current mood: relaxed

Current music: Fallout Boy- Grand Theft Autumn (Acoustic)

11:11PM - I'll do an actual update tomorrow

10 TRUTHS BLACK AND LATIN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.
3. Jesus was not White.
4. Skinny does not equal sexy.
5. A 5 year old child is too big for a stroller.
6. N' SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
7. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
8. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
9. Kissing your pet is not cute.
10. Rap music is here to stay.

10 THINGS WHITE AND BLACK PEOPLE KNOW BUT LATIN PEOPLE DON'T ADMIT:

1. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
2. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
3. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
4. Hickey's are unattractive
5. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
6. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
7. 10 people to a car or home is considered too many.
8. Jesus is not a name for your son.
9. Maria is a name, but not for every other daughter.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store can get your BUTT whooped or theirs.

10 TRUTHS WHITE AND LATIN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT BLACK PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Tupac is dead.
2. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
3. Having a ring on every finger is too much.
4. O.J. did it
5. Teeth should not be decorated.
6. Breaks are usually only 15 minutes.
7. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
8. RED is not a kool-aid flavor (it's a color).
9. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.
10. Your pastor doesn't know everything

3:07AM

Bacardi 151 Congratulations! You're 134 proof, with specific scores in beer (80) , wine (50), and liquor (121).

All right. No more messing around. Your knowledge of alcohol is so high that you have drinking and getting plastered down to a science. Sure, you could get wasted drinking beer, but who needs all those trips to the bathroom? You head straight for the bar and pick up that which is most efficient.

You scored 100 LUCKY!

You are so freakin sweet

6:52PM

[ ] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I don't like Bush because from what I hear, he is dumb.
[x] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up. (America needs a fresh shave)
[ ] I am for Bush.
[x] I listen to political music. Does Rage count?
[ ] I collect comic books.(Only the occasional magazine to read while I'm taking a shit. They got rid of the newspapers on our floor)
[ ] I shut others out when I'm depressed.(I'd rather bring them down)
[x] I open up to others easily. (Unless they suck)
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I own over 5 rap CDs. (I wouldn't say own but I probably have over 50 rap songs)
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 Player. (Minidisc)
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic
[ ] I love Disney Movies.
[x] I am a sucker for hair/eyes (Girls with shitty hair suck)
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse regularly. (Fuck, shit, piss, cocksucker, motherfucker, cunt, tits. Tits doesn't even belong on there, it's more like a snack.)
[ ] I paid for that cell phone ring. (I refuse to pay for a cell phone let alone a ring tone)
[x] I am a sports fanatic. (any racket sport)
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name. (that's for girls, dumbasses, and people named max)
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation. (what are you fucking stupid?)
[ ] I love Spam. (it's up there with bacon grease)
[x] I bake well. (almost as well as elain graziano)
[ ] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.
[x] I have a job. (i don't really consider it work)
[ ] I am in love with love. (lame)
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. (not even if i was drunk)
[ ] I am self conscious. (ha)
[x] I like to laugh. (to a point)
[ ] I smoke a pack a day. (should read: "I can't wait for to die cause I'm a fucking idiot)
[ ] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
[ ] I loved Go Ask Alice. (it was okay, should be in the library of every 4th grader)
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick. (nyquil also)
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I eat fast food weekly. (does daka count?)
[x] I have many scars. (the standard ones plus little nicks here and there)
[x] I've been out of this country. (I think i walked through the ghetto once)
[ ] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[ ] I am really ticklish.
[x] I see a therapist. (not because i'm sad, because i'm homicidal)
[x] I love white chocolate. (not a big fan of the dark meat)
[ ] I bite my nails (get gum you cheap fuck)
[x] I am comfortable with being me. (i'm sure most of you know that)
[ ] I play video games. (got old somewhere along the line)
[ ]Gotten lost in your city (i don't get lost)
[x] Saw a shooting star (JFK. He was shot right?)
[ ] Been to any other countries besides the united states
[ ] I Had a serious Surgery
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas (bathrobe and sometimes boxers)
[x] I have Kissed a Stranger
[x] Hugged a stranger
[ ] Been in a fist fight (i'm a pussy)
[ ] Been arrested
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator (i didn't realize there were so many floors at unh)
[ ] Made out in an elevator
[x] Swore at your parents
[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts (no one deserves that)
[ ] Been close to love
[x] Been to a casino (steve haapoaja's house, clark's house, pinske's house, etc.)
[ ] Been skydiving. (about as smart as driving straight at a wall and relying on your brakes to stop you before you hit it)
[ ] Broken a bone (i drink milk)
[x] Skipped school (whoops)
[x] Flashed someone (mooning someone is flashing or no?)
[x] Saw a therapist (already asked this)
[ ] Done the splits. (sounds boring)
[x] Played spin the bottle (sadly)
[x] Gotten stitches (shin)
[x] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour (headed straight for arthritus)
[x] Bitten someone (probably somewhere along the line)
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls (no i have not been to alyssa martin's sloppy vagina but i hear many people have)
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[ ] Kissed a member of the same sex (i'm not leo mahoney or phil giggey)
[x] Crashed into a friend's car (just a tap on purpose)
[ ] Been to Japan
[ ] Ridden in a taxi
[x] Shoplifted (free is better)
[x] Been fired (best day of my life)
[ ] Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex (i'm still not gay)
[x] Had feelings for someone who didnt have them back (i wanted to put it to a certain cheerleader. she didn't feel it back, oh well)
[x] Stole something from your job (mcdonald's yes, gym-no)
[ ] Gone on a blind date (no i've never dated jess barr)
[x] Lied to a friend (for good reasons)
[x] Had a crush on a teacher (i don't care what any of you say, arzoian had a nice ass, and ms. smith was a hot substitute teacher)
[ ] Celebrated mardigras in New Orleans
[ ] Been to Europe
[ ] Slept with a co-worker (do i want to sleep w/ a mcdonalds girl, no. there's only one girl @ gym security and no.)
[ ] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced
[ ] Had children
[x] Saw someone dying (i'm pretty sure Gau is on his last legs he looks like he just came out of a concentration camp)
[ ] Been to Africa
[ ] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[ ] Been to Canada
[x] Been to Mexico (there are enough of them hopping over the border to say i have)
[x] Been on a plane. (flew one)
[x] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show. (boring but I guess it's good if you see the production)
[ ] Thrown up in a bar
[ ] Eaten Sushi
[ ] Been snowboarding
[x] Been Skiing (probably the best that I know of)
[ ] Met someone in person from the internet
[ ] Been to a moto cross show (...)
[ ] Lost a child
[x] Gone to college (i'm still there)
[ ] Graduated college
[ ] Done hard drugs
[ ] Taken painkillers (everything's over the counter)
[ ] Had someone cheat on you (i don't really count it)
[ ] Miss someone right now
[ ] Drive a nice car to make up for certain... inadaquacies. (That explains the whole asian- nice car thing. I drive a '93 subaru loyale. With a broken clutch.)

Current mood: predatory

Current music: Pantera- Mouth For War

5:19AM

eh

2:25PM - Mutha fuckas

C U Next Tuesday, biatch. Nah, school again today. Seven more weeks and it's summa time and the livins easy. D term'll be good cause it's the last'n the best is last. Went to WPL last night but it was closed, boo. Straight A's this term and that's all I have to say about that.

Still need a job this summer. I'll probably be el janitor de la eschuela rockland. Sounds like it'd suck but it's a good job for me cause I don't have to deal with people. The only kids I'll see are burn out, stupid fucking idiots that can't manage to pass high school classes. @ least I'll have people to give shit to.

I want to fucking play tennis. Dutra better practice @ shu or I'm going to destroy him. I promise. Had to go down to net ops today cause I went way over the bandwidth limit of 4.6 gb in 24 hours.

I hate the snow right now, it's way past snow season. Time to wander and maybe get some Calc done.

Current mood: amused

Current music: Drag-On : Niggas Die For Me

1:06AM - A Happy Resolution!

More later. Sleep now. Up early. Calc-3 HW+Genetics HW. Calc-3+Genetics Class. Meet with lab group. Dinner. Short nap maybe. Work 8-11. Bed early? Busy busy day. Hopefully I'll squeeze in some huge update in there.

Current mood: tired/happy

Current music: Me yawning

11:42PM - Coming soon!

Pending some updated information tomorrow's update and title will read "Me being an immature fuck and not giving a damn". Some people bend and bend and bend. And some people will take advantage of that without intervening. I don't bend I fucking snap and it's not far off. I need things to break god damn it.

Current mood: pissed off

Current music: NOTHING

5:25PM - Sweet dreams are made of this (insane in the membrane)

So I forgot to take my medication for the past couple days and I've once again had the most vivid, lifelike dreams. Fucked up though they may be, I enjoy them thoroughly. Last night I was in some weird house with some people I've never seen before. People started coming in and we killed them all. I stabbed one person to death by repeatedly stabbing them in the chest with a fork and a spoon. Woke up from that one in a cold sweat. Then had a dream that consisted completely of shampooing my hair. Some other time during the night I was like 8 and for some reason was going to church on thanksgiving but it was at the playground of my elementary school and there was snow everywhere. I slid down this giant slope twice and split in half on a snow bank the second time. Woke up from that one confused. Had another dream where I was in a gun fight where I was conveniently never shot but I shot a bunch of people and I think I felt very happy about it. Followed by a police chase which was pretty cool and ended abruptly when I woke up. Had another dream where I was some sort of detective trying to kill some giant robot type thing that was hidden in some undergound tunnels, that one sucked cause no one in the dream would help me and I never got to find out what happened.

Man am I fucked, but if life's going to be a pain in the ass most of the time at least my dreams will be fun and interesting.

Current mood: amused

Current music: Marilyn Manson- Coma White